What Do You Bring to The Table Part 2

Hey guys. How have you all been? I am inspired to put up the second part of my last blog post today.

In my last post, I discussed what it meant to "bring something to the table" in our careers and jobs. Like I promised, in today's post, we will be shifting from a professional focus to a more personal level and discuss bringing something to the table in relationships.

I once followed a thread on twitter where there was a debate on the roles of both genders in a relationship and i think the discussion was sparked by a guy who tweeted that women are always canvassing for equal gender roles yet they always want men to take care of the bills for them.

Several arguments then ensued in favour and against the guys standpoint and many of the arguments raised were actually very valid and this made me think about gender roles, dynamics of a relationship and gender equality (For the record, gender roles and gender equality do not mean the same thing but that is a different topic all together).

This issue is not a new one as people have many dissenting views as to the roles of both sexes especially in the wake of rising discussions for gender equality.

Personally, I do not believe in hard cast gender roles. As in the typical, daddy provides while mummy takes care of the home. Thinking about it, statistics show that more and more women are becoming bread winners and the story is not different here in Nigeria.

I do not think that the prescribed story line for gender roles above is wrong, rather i think it is not sacrosanct. For many families over generations, this method has been practiced and it works. However, as we move further down the 21st century, things are beginning to shift and most women are becoming discontent with just taking care of the home, they want more. If you ask me though, I think more men are actually becoming lazier as well.

For me though, the issue is not about who does what but more about ensuring everybody is doing something. Whether daddy is the one providing or mummy is, someone has to be providing. While one partner is busy providing, what are you the other partner doing?

This is not limited to running the home alone. In a relationship, it is extremely important that you are contributing value in some way toward the relationship. One person alone cannot bear all the responsibilities.

A woman might decide to quit working her job after she gets married or starts having kids in order to have more time to care for the family. This does not make her useless. She might be a master home keeper and as a result save the family a good amount of money that would have been used for domestic help. Furthermore, she could also be very smart or a good business strategist helping her husband in analyzing certain things and when making crucial decisions for his business. This is the value she brings and helps balance things out.

Value is important in keeping relationships going and I don't just mean romantic relationships, it is crucial for friendships too.

If you read my post here, I mentioned that forming valuable relationships was one one the life lessons I picked up from the University.

Always do a self analysis to ensure that you are contributing meaningfully to the lives of those around you and of course that they are also adding value to you as well. That way, everyone brings something to the table.

XO...

Zino